One of the fun games I get to play while attempting to destash my sewing and craft bins is: “Giant Spider…Real or Plastic?”
I have always had a gut fear reaction to large spiders. I know this is stupid and illogical, but it’s there. It’s not that I don’t like them, I actually like them a lot. They’re interesting, beautiful, and good for the planet and all that. I just get a little upset when they’re large and loose near my bare feet.
I take some small comfort in the fact that my phobia manifests itself in a determination to get the thing out of the house as efficiently as possible. When I was a kid, I had friends who were deathly afraid of spiders, and it was always my job to remove them. I was afraid of them, too, but letting them roam was not an option. I remember one monster that had to pull its legs in when I put a wide-mouth canning jar over it. My friend was so afraid of it, she wouldn’t go near it. She would have just left it there, loose in her house. How does that help? Argh!
Once I found a bin in the laundry room that contained three huge house spiders, all keeping as much careful distance from each other as possible. Despite my horror, it was so awesome that I couldn’t resist running it all over the house to show it to everyone before I took it as far out into the backyard as possible, dumped it over, and ran away.
My preferred method is to put a glass or jar over the spider, slide a paper underneath, then drop it somewhere in the hedge outside. Today, it wasn’t a plastic spider. Fortunately, the bin I was sorting also had some wizardish-looking corked jars in it, so I had some spooky company while I finished working. Then I took it outside and let it run. Brrrr.