Everybody I know is wandering around flabbergasted at the fact that it’s December, and the various ‘Festival of Lights’ celebrations are just around the corner. “Where did the year go?” we cry. Personally, I’ve been banking all my excess time so I have enough with which to enjoy my vacation.
Here at Studio Foglio, we subscribe to the festival of wretched excess known as Christmas. We just got our tree up last night, and the house is redolent with the smell of dying pine tree. As regular readers of these screes are marginally aware, we have two new(ish) kitten/cats hanging around the house. Thus, we have decorated the tree with what we call the ‘Expendable Ornaments’. These are the ones made out of metal, or wood or plastic, and thus will survive if some damn cat tries to climb the tree and sends it crashing to the floor. This is rather annoying, as we’d just started putting the ‘Snazzy Ornaments’ out again, after hiding them away for a decade or so out of fear of one of the Experiments trying to climb the tree. Surprisingly, this never actually happened, and perhaps the cats will resist the temptation as well.
I hope so, as many of the stowed ornaments are ones that Kaja and I have collected over the years as part of our never-ending quest to find bizarre Christmas ornaments that really have no possible connection to Christmas, or any other holiday, really. It is in this box that you will find cookie–eating dinosaurs, manta rays in bow ties, scantily clad witches, princesses riding giant snails, articulated carp, and assorted chthonic entities looking jolly. Weird is good.
Speaking of outré holiday decoration; Last year I mentioned that one of the houses in our neighborhood had a light display celebrating the existence of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I was rather unprepared for the bite–back, as numerous readers demanded photographic proof, declaring “If there’s no photos, it didn’t happen.” To this I’d like to say; Bite me. I’m not claiming I saw a UFO or something. If I’m going to cook up a holiday falsehood, I’m going to come up with something a hell of a lot more fantastic than that. Give me some credit. I make stuff up for a living. I was even more annoyed because by the time I got back to that particular house, they’d taken the damn thing down. Well it’s back up now, so gaze in wonder, chumps.