Today We Looked At Old Stuff

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Easy enough to do here, I’ll grant you, since you can walk past a modern Starbucks which is slap up against a 1200 year old block of flats covered in crenellations and plaques letting you know that the ‘In Order to Sayve Ye City of London, Ye Right Honorable Lord Mayor Ate A Cat Upon Thys Very Spot in 1307’.

We wandered about a bit. Saw The Clink (http://www.clink.co.uk/), which is a medieval prison which was so horrible that it gave its name to future horrible prisons. It was run by the local Bishop, who invented several now commonplace forms of graft, corruption and bribery. The most entertaining part of this exhibit were the numerous signs scattered through-out, which were for The Kids, upon which a friendly looking plague rat made such cogent remarks as; “Remember kids, hot irons are for laundry! Don’t try this at home!” This is one of the (admittedly) few instances when I don’t have to make stuff up.

We also found The Golden Hind 2, a life size reproduction of Sir Francis Drake’s famous ship. We didn’t go aboard, because we are cheap. Apparently sturdy British children can have overnight sleep-overs aboard. They are issued Tudor sailor uniforms, taught how to run lines and perform emergency amputations with a multiplex knife and hot tar. They are then fed a Tudor dinner and sleep on deck. We are assured tat the chances that the pernicious Spanish will attack in the night are “very low.” The next morning the survivors are fed a continental breakfast and thrown over the side. Very educational.

The rest of the day we spent wandering around The Tower of London. This took a lot longer than I thought it would, but we were mighty entertained. We did NOT get into see The Royal Jewels, because every yoik in the Empire is determined to see them, and the line regularly stretches all the way back to the river.

The Tower was fascinating not just for its antiquity, but because it is still a living institution. People live there, and some of the business of the Empire is still done there. Plus any place that has been around for a thousand years is bound to accumulate a few interesting anecdotes.

Experiment # 2 and I are rather jazzed about the fact that we’ll actually be here when the new Dr. Who premiers. The new guy looks interesting.

And now, loyal Girl Genius readers, our idiocy can be to your benefit; We wanted to take the Experiments to see some Shakespeare at the Globe Theatre. We actually managed to get tickets for Julius Caesar on August 27! Yay us. Then I was reminded that we were actually leaving England on August 25. God dammit. Now apparently this is not uncommon, and I expect that the theatre makes a great deal of money from people who make incorrect bookings, since they say; No refunds. No exchanges. Fuck them. However I will not let them play to empty seats. So. If you are in London on Wednesday, August 27, and want to see Julius Caesar at the Globe Theatre at 7:30 PM, then be the first person to send me a message via the Facebook, and I will send you the info you need to claim them from Will Call at the box office. Just promise me you’ll slap them when you pick them up.